Imagine the following. . . You go to a holiday dinner where you know your loved one is going to be in the same room with someone who caused them harm. You have to figure…
Holiday triggers: Why we need to expand the discussion to include supporters
Articles
How to remain hopeful when your survivor-partner is struggling
How do you remain hopeful when your survivor-partner is struggling? What a question! One with which I am well acquainted. Here’s the thing. I am not always hopeful. A recent challenge brought this front and…
Why ‘What happened to you?’ is not the only question for families of survivors
‘What happened to you?’ is not the only question for families of survivors If you have been reading my blog for a while or any other trauma-related information, I am sure you are familiar with…
Why self-compassion and self-care work together to help supporters of survivors
Last week, I attended a one-day workshop with Kristin Neff, Ph.D. For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Neff’s work, she is a self-compassion researcher and the co-founder of the Mindful Self-Compassion…
Supporting partners of trauma survivors (podcast) and more resources
Supporting partners of trauma survivors is my mission. I was very excited when Laura Reagan, founder, and host of TherapyChat invited me to be a guest on her podcast. Of course, the episode focused on…
5 ways to cut yourself slack if you are the partner of a survivor
It happened again. About one month ago, there was a clear decline in my husband’s mental health. Truthfully, the decline had been happening for a while, but it was obvious he needed medical help. Our…
You are more than your trauma
You are more than your trauma. I couldn’t sleep. My mind ran restless laps around last week’s events. As much as I wanted to put it all behind me, my brain had other ideas. I…
Change is in the air: updates and news
Dear Friends, It has been a very intense month. Awareness of the impact of a partner’s past trauma on the family unit is growing. This awareness has meant rapid growth of my business Heather Tuba…
Why the answer ‘I don’t know’ is helping me understand my partner’s dissociative disorder
There’s a recurrent conversation between my partner and me. It goes like this. . . Me: “Why are you doing that?” or “Why didn’t you do that?” Him: “I don’t know.” Me: “What do you mean…
9 non-negotiable self-care strategies I can’t live without as partner to a survivor
If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while, you’ll know the topic of self-care is really important to me. It’s important because as a partner to a survivor, I know the high risk…
When the best option is crisis care for your loved one with C-PTSD
Last month, I drove my husband to the hospital emergency department. It was a difficult decision. I wrestled with it for several days. It was hard because first of all, I didn’t know if the…