There’s a recurrent conversation between my partner and me. It goes like this. . . Me: “Why are you doing that?” or “Why didn’t you do that?” Him: “I don’t know.” Me: “What do you mean…
If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while, you’ll know the topic of self-care is really important to me. It’s important because as a partner to a survivor, I know the high risk…
This post was originally published in 2018. As I write this, things are hard at home. My husband is struggling and so am I. 2018 was a challenging year and I feel discouraged. About ten…
Making sense of complex post traumatic stress disorder is hard. As a partner to a person with CPTSD, I struggle. Some things just don’t make sense. When I discover a clear quote that summarizes a…
There are costs to loving a trauma survivor. I know this statement may come across as or unsupportive, insensitive, or unkind. But despite the potential misinterpretations of this statement, it still needs to be said. There are…
What do partners of survivors read? Over the past year, I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with many partners of survivors. What I’ve learned is that partners are avid readers. We read for inspiration. We…
Last week was lost to trauma.* The days and hours of the second week of September passed and the dates on the calendar changed but, in our home, all activities outside of navigating my husband’s…
My husband’s developmental trauma changed me. Seven years ago, my husband of twenty years began to experience a series of visual flashbacks. These emerging memories pointed to a very different childhood than he had previously remembered.…
My husband has developmental trauma and no one told me about it. After eight trauma therapists, three psychiatric assessments, four general practitioners, two big psychological breakdowns, many smaller breakdowns, three employment leaves, financial loss, one…
Who are your bridge people? It’s been one year since our house sold and we picked up and moved to Eastern Canada. It’s been a year of change, new people and places, challenges, and disappointments.…
“What do you do for self-care?” It’s one of the first questions I am asked by other partners. While I know what works for me, my preferred activities may not be what works for you.…