How do you remain hopeful when your survivor-partner is struggling? What a question! One with which I am well acquainted. Here’s the thing. I am not always hopeful. A recent challenge brought this front and…
Last week, I attended a one-day workshop with Kristin Neff, Ph.D. For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Neff’s work, she is a self-compassion researcher and the co-founder of the Mindful Self-Compassion…
There’s a recurrent conversation between my partner and me. It goes like this. . . Me: “Why are you doing that?” or “Why didn’t you do that?” Him: “I don’t know.” Me: “What do you mean…
Making sense of complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is hard. As a partner to a man with C-PTSD, I struggle. Some things just don’t make sense. When I discover a clear quote that summarizes a key…
There are costs to loving a trauma survivor. I know this statement may come across as or unsupportive, insensitive, or unkind. But despite the potential misinterpretations of this statement, it still needs to be said. There are…
Last week was lost to trauma.* The days and hours of the second week of September passed and the dates on the calendar changed but, in our home, all activities outside of navigating my husband’s…
Who are your bridge people? It’s been one year since our house sold and we picked up and moved to Eastern Canada. It’s been a year of change, new people and places, challenges, and disappointments.…
Do the stories of partners of survivors matter? I tucked this question into my laptop bag and entered the doors of Humber College summer writing school this past July. I had submitted fifteen pages of…
“How do you cope with fatigue as the partner to a trauma survivor?” a friend recently asked. To be honest, the question frightened me. Was I fatigued? Was it a problem? Was I coping? Was…
Editor’s note: This post was originally written in August 2017. Partners in relationship with individuals with complex PTSD often struggle alone. Partners may experience shame and stigma from those who are supposed to be supportive.…
“How do you practice self-care?” It’s a question I’m asked a lot. I have a list of answers. Exercise Enough sleep Keep extra-curricular commitments to a minimum Spend time outdoors Talk with friends either by…